Linkinparkfan9799 Interviews: Sebastian
by linkinparkfan9799
Summary: Okay, with the help of a friend, I go into 1894 and get into yet ANOTHER disaster. Two-part interview.
1. Chapter 1

_**NOT TO WORRY! I have watched Black Butler, this is...eh.**_

**Interviewer(s): Linkinparkfan9799 and xDemonChickx**

**Interviewee: Sebastian**

**My boss: Mrs. Oswaldes**

**Thanks to: xDemonChickx and my boredom**

_Knock. Knock. "Come in, Miss Oddball," Mrs. Oswaldes sighed._

_I opened the door to the ancient bag of bones herself, a quill pen scratching on old parchment. "Isn't this 2012?" I rolled my eyes._

_She scoffed and set her pen down. "Now, no need for such rudeness!" (There totally is because of the LAST disaster...). "Now," she motioned a weird blinky machine, "step in this for your next interview."_

_I blinked. "I didn't need to for Lelouch, and he's in 2017."_

_"Well, this is farther back, so there. Now, I have a ti-"_

_"LINKIN!"_

_I screamed as I was tackled by a crazy chick. I turned to huff. "xDemonChickx, OFF!"_

_She hopped off and turned to Mrs. Oswaldes. She did a salute and tackled me once again. "Yes," my (mother fcking bitch whore of a ) boss sighed, "she will be accompaning you."_

_"More people for Ann t-"_

_"Oh, Ann isormenting her classmates right now," she stated. "Jenniffer is...somewhere."_

**Jenniffer's POV**

_"LET ME OUT YOU MOTHER FCKING BITCH!" I screamed as I resisted the duct tape restraints. Crocodiles snapped their jaws under the cage I was put it. "OH SHIT!"_

**Present Me.**

Not knowing what the heck happened to Jennifer, I walk into the machine with xDemonChickx. Next thing I know, we're falling. I scream in fright as she screams in delight, holding her arms out like she's parasailing _without the parasail. _We, well _I_, crash into something wooden and she crashes on _me_. So no, not _we_. I wince at the impact and the being used as a crash matress. I look at what I landed on and see it's...a top of a carriage? I look in the window to see a blonde girl, her hair in pigtails, with green eyes and a pink dress. I look at my own attire to see the Victorian prostitute's attire. "Shit!" I grunt. I look over to see xDemonChickx has something _decent! _"We're switching!"

"What?"

"Come on!"

"Hey-WAIT A SECOND!

FOL

"Wait...so you're here to see Ciel Phantomhive?" the girl asks.

"Y-yes," Demon answers, pressed to the far side of the carriage to get away from me, and yes, we switched attire.

"Actually Sebastian, his butler," I shrug.

Demon recovers quickly. "Ooh! Sebastian~"

As she rants on about his 'smexiness' (and proving 'smexy' and all it's tenses are actual words), I shake my head slowly and turn to the girl. "So...what's your name?"

"Elizabeth!" she smiles. "You?"

"Linkin, this is Demon," I motion the heart eyed psycho.

"-and that CHEST!" she drools. "I bet it's so hard~"

We scoot away and exchange sympathetic (and fearful) glances.

FML (Fck my life)

Elizabeth leads us to the door and opens it. Sebastian is dusting a vase (okay, I have to admit, bent over, he's irrestible) and turns to raise a brow. "Lady Elizabeth?" he blinks. "Who are your accomplis-"

"SEBASTIAN!" Demon tackles him. "OH YOUR SO-"

"_HARDWORKING!" _I intervene, yanking her off. "Y-yes, you're absolutely busy! Maybe we should just go!"

"NO!" Demon _slaps, _and I mean _slaps_, me. "WE INTERVIEW HIM AND THAT'S FINAL!"

This is an abusive job! HELP ME! "ALRIGHT!" I turn to the drool-over-worthy butler himself. "Uh...can we-"

"Of course," he smiles.

To be honest, I think he didn't want lunatics near Ciel.

FML

So here we are, sitting on a table, me tapping it nervously with one gloved finger. "Okay...first off," I look at my parchment, lifting my quill pen. "W-"

"Oh, can I ask?" Demon pleads.

"No."

"Why not?" she whines.

"Because you'll ask everything and I'll just be sitting here doing nothing but taking air in and blowing it out!" She sulks. "Okay, one-do you...God. I can't believe this!" I slam my head on the table.

"Something wrong?" Sebastian chuckles coldly.

Bitch. Bitch. Ba- "One- do you prefer guys or girls?"

Demon snatches the paper from me and her jaw drops to the table...and I _wish _it was figurative. "HOLY CRAP WHO ASKS THAT?"

"My boss," I point out.

"WELL SHE CAN-"

*intermission*

Wanna friend?

Wanna pal?

Want someone who will always be there?

Well...

I want a million bucks, but _that's _NOT gonna happen, just like you getting a friend!

*intermission*

"-IN A HOLE FULL OF-"

*intermission*

Need a life?

Download one on...

NOWHERE!

If you don't have a life, then there's no hope for ya!

*intermission*

"Seriously?" Sebastian and I turn to the 'intermission guy'. I groan. "ANN!"

"What?" she shrugs innocently. "I'm bored. Plus, Zero's gonna come soon."

"-LITTLE PIECE OF SOUPY CRAP THAT FCKS OTHER DCKS AND COLD SORES!" Demon pants.

I scoot away, Ann glomps her, and Sebatian covers his grin. "Yay~ I found my new mommy!" Ann sits on her butt and grips Demon's skirt, sucking her thumb.

I slap my forehead. "Sebastian?"

"I actually prefer neither, since my only concern is serving my master," Sebastian answers.

Demon pouts. "Okay, can _I _ask the next one?" she turns to me.

I hand her the list. "K."

"Two," she smiles, "what's your favorite...oh COME ON! EVERYONE KNOWS THIS!"

"I don't," Ann raises a brow. "Is that bad, mommy?"

"OH CUT IT OUT ANN!" I shout.

She starts bawling. "Oh look what you've done!" Demon snaps. She kneels nexxt to Ann and pats her back. "Sh, it's okay..."

"SHE'S A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD VAMPIRE!" I groan.

Sebastian taps the table. "What was the question?"

"Oh, what's your favorite animal?" Demon states without actually meaning to.

"Cat," he answers.

"Okay..." I huff. "Let's take a break, shall we?"

Ann claps. "Yay~ bre-"

"ANN!"

We turn to Zero, in Victorian clothes, panting with a red face and a...leech jammed up in his wrist. "AH!"

As Zero tries to scewer her with some vampire-killing sword, I turn to Sebastian and Demon. "Lunch?"

They nod.

**Well, this is going to be in two parts, so sorry about that but...**

**Ann: Yes?**

**You're destroying my studio.**

**Ann: Yay~**


	2. Chapter 2

_**PART 2!**_

**Interviewer(s): Linkinparkfan9799 and xDemonChickx**

**Interviewee: Sebastian**

**My boss: Mrs. Oswaldes**

**Thanks to: xDemonChickx and my boredom**

Ann left (yay~). I turn to Sebastian. "Okay," I swallow my sandwitch. "Three-do you EAT anything?" He nods, so I cross it off.

"My turn!" Demon goes for the list, but I jerk it out of her reach.

"Four-You lived during the Black Plague, yes?" He nods again.

"Hey!" Demon pouts, going for it again. Ditto.

"Five-do you find Elizabeth annoying?"

"To a degree."

"Six-"

"LINKIN!"

Ditto. "-can you play a lot of instruments or just the violin?"

"If I could only play the violin, what kind of butler would I be?"

Demon swoons, THAT giving her enough smarts to snatch the list away correctly. "Eight-do you like me?"

"Demon!" I snap, wretching it out of her grasp.

RIIP!

We stare at the two halves of parchment. "Crap," she mutters.

"Shit," I snap.

Someone walks in. "Ooh~" a girl's voice sings. "Sebastian, who are these fine ladies?"

We turn to...Mey-Rin. Good. Someone _sane_. Well...to a certain point. "Just some girls interviewing sexy butlers~" Demon sings.

"NO," I hiss. "We're some girls interviewing-"

"Sexy people?"

"No."

"You even said yourself Lelouch was sexy."

CRAP! "You _read _that report?"

"Well, DUH!"

I think about it. DOUBLE CRAP! "Jeez...Hey, can I interview you and the other servants for a bit?"

Mey-rin nods and leads me out (sadly leaving Sebastian and Demon alone together). We go into Sevant's Quarters to find the pyromaniac and the naive-tough guy sitting at a table playing Go Fish, Tanaka (I believe...) holding his...tea? While doing his famous 'ho, ho, ho.'. I'm serious, first thought was 'SANTA! OH MI GOD! SANTA!'. So, no asking HIM questions...I walk over and Mey-rin sits while I stand. "Hello!" I greet. "I'm Linkin Ann Oddball. Can I ask you three some questions?"

"Sure," Bard (pyromaniac) shrugs, cigarette in mouth.

"Okay, how's it like to work with Sebastian?"

"Pain in the neck," Bard scoffs. "Always thinks he can boos us 'round!"

"He always does a perfect job to!" Finny (if you don't know, WHY are you reading this?) huffs.

"I don't mind," Mey-rin shrugs. "He tells me when I blunder."

"He's not SUPPOSED to!" Bard slaps his forehead.

I blink. "Uh...How's it like to work for Ciel?"

"Good," Bard nods.

"Better than being a lab rat..." Finny shudders.

"Love it here's!" Mey-rin claps her hands. "It's so wonderful to not be treated badly!"

..."..."..."..."..."..."Okay." I glance at my arm. "Uh...one more thing...is Sebastian known for going after women?"

"No," they all say in unison.

I nod and walk off, about to go down the stairs when I hear voices. "See you later Ciel~"

"Bye Elizabeth. Oh and, who did you bring?"

"A girl named Linkin and another named Demon. They just fell out of the sky!"

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. CRAP! I gulp and wait until the door closes until I go down the stairs, freezing at Ciel's...questionable look. "What?" I ask.

"...Nothing."

He walks off on his cane to the kitchen, where I left Sebastian and Demon. When I get one step down**..."SEBASTIAN WHAT THE BLOODY HLL ARE YOU DOING?"**

I rush down the steps, holding my skirts so I don't _trip_, and run next to Ciel, covering my mouth. "_DEMON!"_ I shriek.

Demon is _making out _with Sebastian forcefully, most of his shirt _off_. He's stuggling, though I see a slight smile there, and he's not exactly _kicking _when he should. Ciel and I pry the 'love birds' apart, Demon huffing and her hair all messed up. "I HAVE NO REGRETS!" she screams at the ceiling.

I face Ceil. "I'm SO sorry, uh, can I come back...I still have two tinsee questions..."

"When he gets his act together, yes," Ciel huffs, dragging a shocked/happy/drunk/sexy demon butler out of the room.

I drag crazy/panting/lunatic Demon out as well, glaring at the sky. "CAN WE GET BACK NOW?"

I blink and I find myself (and Demon) back in the machine. Mrs. Oswaldes raises a brow. "What happened?"

Demon lifts her arm up to point at me, even though I have her by the elbows. "She made the BIG mistake of leaving me alone with Sebastian~"

**Review**

**Tell me who you want me to interview next~ Has to be something I know. **

**One-Elfen Lied**

**Two-Ouran Highschool Host Club**

**Three-Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)**

**Four-Inuyasha**

**Five-Hetalia**

**Six-Shugo Chara**

**Seven-Death Note**

**Eight-Vampire Knight**

**Nine-Rosario+Vampire**

**Ten-Code Geass**

**Review~ Again~ PLEASE!**


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